the impending beer with mates

A beer with mates has to be the most common past time for the ultimate aussie bloke.

Yeah, yeah you’re thinking, I’ve heard this all before, of course its the ultimate past time. Nothing new here. Well thats exactly my point, there is nothing new. Its the same story with my aussie gem. You have to keep an open mind and take a deep breath when you know one of these nights is approaching. Its just what they do, just let em do it, even if it is the same damn story over and over again!

Steps involved:

1. plan plan plan mother f$%^kers! who’s old girl is giving the lift (but don’t tell her yet – bide your time)

2. start drinking as early as possible, head for fridge as soon as walk through the front door

3. get ready in a flash leaving a trail of destruction, work clothes scattered

Now things can go one of two ways from here:

If they decide to go to the pub:

4. the friggin missus finds out she is both taxi driver and babysitter and has to jump in the car in 10 to take you to the pub

5. make sure to kiss and cuddle kids as much as you can in the 10mins while the missus gets dressed in a huff, makes you look better despite being completely transparent

6. quick kiss then piss bolt into pub, ah you’re in mecca!

OR stay at home…

4. just as appealing but no icy cold beer on tap (the idea behind beers at home is usually based on keeping the friggin missus happy, keeping her in the loop ya know)

5. drink, smoke, yarn, piss on fence, repeat

6. ultimate aussie bloke will, after 15 repeats, add spew, then repeat

Its pretty simple really.

You’ll be grateful to know that their hangovers are killer. So the more they drink the more you’ll smile in the morning!

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the friggin missus

Just an ordinary girl who ended up in a bed next to an aussie bloke. Yes, I’m the friggin missus. A term which to many would sound derogatory but from this guys lips is a term of endearment.

That said, dating an aussie bloke is no walk in the park. If you have a true blue aussie bloke next to you don’t expect romance, don’t expect flowers and love poems, expect a laugh, a good yarn and if you find a goodun perhaps a lifetime of loyalty, (please excuse the canine connotations, I really didn’t intend that at all!)

The purpose of this blog is to vent of course but also to point out that these rough diamonds have their good points too.

They’ll drive you nuts with their drinking, probably smoking, partying, hangovers, complaints (yes big boys get boo boos), dodgy daddy skills, language, dirt bikes, 4WD’s, music, cleaning habits, etc….

I’ll focus mainly on my rough diamond but sometimes I’ll introduce you to others of his kind. I’ll talk about their personalities, their oddities, their habits, their opinions and their women.

I was born in London and have been dating/living with/mother of kids to this ultimate aussie man for 4 years now. These last four years have been a huge rollercoaster of getting to know you, heated negotiations, hangovers and kids. Yes getting to know you and negotiations didn’t end at the point when we decided to have kids.

No, we’re get married. Not to offend but we live in a modern world, get over it. Besides I still consider myself an honest woman, just follow this blog and you’ll read how honest I can be!