the impending beer with mates

A beer with mates has to be the most common past time for the ultimate aussie bloke.

Yeah, yeah you’re thinking, I’ve heard this all before, of course its the ultimate past time. Nothing new here. Well thats exactly my point, there is nothing new. Its the same story with my aussie gem. You have to keep an open mind and take a deep breath when you know one of these nights is approaching. Its just what they do, just let em do it, even if it is the same damn story over and over again!

Steps involved:

1. plan plan plan mother f$%^kers! who’s old girl is giving the lift (but don’t tell her yet – bide your time)

2. start drinking as early as possible, head for fridge as soon as walk through the front door

3. get ready in a flash leaving a trail of destruction, work clothes scattered

Now things can go one of two ways from here:

If they decide to go to the pub:

4. the friggin missus finds out she is both taxi driver and babysitter and has to jump in the car in 10 to take you to the pub

5. make sure to kiss and cuddle kids as much as you can in the 10mins while the missus gets dressed in a huff, makes you look better despite being completely transparent

6. quick kiss then piss bolt into pub, ah you’re in mecca!

OR stay at home…

4. just as appealing but no icy cold beer on tap (the idea behind beers at home is usually based on keeping the friggin missus happy, keeping her in the loop ya know)

5. drink, smoke, yarn, piss on fence, repeat

6. ultimate aussie bloke will, after 15 repeats, add spew, then repeat

Its pretty simple really.

You’ll be grateful to know that their hangovers are killer. So the more they drink the more you’ll smile in the morning!

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