aussie blokes survey – yep i thought so

Blokessurvey

 

Not too bad. I’m impressed.

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a warm and fuzzy post

Okay, so most of my posts have usually involved a dig at my man.

Yep, most of the time I’m having a shot at him about one thing or another.  Bitching about how he behaves, what he doesn’t do, what he does do, bitch, bitch, bitch…

Well don’t worry, I assure you that these posts will continue. However, I must give him a little credit, and share with women out there that IT ISN’T ALL BAD!

And to my male readers. Don’t worry, read on, it won’t be dry, boring emotional crap.

 

So, dating an aussie bloke can be a great. They do honestly make great partners. Especially due the existence of the little thing I like to call guilt. 

 

Guilt is a wonderful thing, and a powerful aussie male motivator. Via guilt I receive numerous perks of being the friggin missus that I am.

a) it provides sleep-ins: every now and then, when I’ve had a bad night with the baby, I will be rewarded with a magical few hours to catch up on some well-deserved zzzzzs

b) gifts: I will often receive plentiful gifts in the form of wine, chocolate and mechanical foot massaging machines

c) time alone: every now then he will vanish with the kids when it appears that I am about to have a mental breakdown – this could of course be his form of escapism. Evacuate the house kids, SHE’S ABOUT TO BLOW!!

 

I get showered with hugs and kisses at 2 very specific times. And ONLY at these times.

a) when he’s had between 6 and 10 beers – its a very specific window of opportunity, “I love ya babe”

b) in bed – well… only before he falls asleep, after that, even if you had the Atlantic between you, you’d still need earplugs

Make the most of these two times ladies.

Heck, you may even get the occasional massage if he’s in the “right” mood in bed.

 

So there you have it. There is a good side to putting up with their SHIT!

 

A&E realty tv obsession

Its been known for a while that realty tv has gone mad. What with the Kardashian does Jersey Shore, and Real Housewives and Mobwives of this, that and who gives a crap.

The extend of crazy realty tv hit home when recently we got Foxtel, the pay tv sanctuary for all reasons not to leave the house or even have a shower. Perfect for all hours viewing when you’ve got a newborn.

Purchased primarily for sport and movies, there’s one channel that always seems to be on whenever I enter the room.

Yep A&E. The home of all things bloke. Boys toys to the max with cars, bikes, guns, gators and wild saloons, and of course your ever present deep and croaky male American voice over. Match this with the constant heavy metal and rock and roll in the background and you’ve got blokes heaven.

As if the titles are not male enticing enough such as Hardcore Pawn, Pawn Stars, there’s also Cash Cowboys and Storage WARS!!!   Yes WARS!!!

 

 

 

aussie blokes do the time warp

I’ve been with my charming (pah) aussie bloke for over 5 years now, and we have two rug rats together.  On a recent family outing to a friends bbq I suggested that we should head home by 9pm. Afterall we just bought a place that we want to work on and renovate the next day.

His response:

“9! No way, we’ll be leaving at 6.30 for sure! I don’t wanna waste our Sunday tired and hungover.”

Right, pay attention to that comment readers…

We head out with our two kids, me, the designated driver, boohoo 😦

The Time Warp

Anyway 6.30pm rolls around, and we’re just sitting down to eat. My bloke is at least 9 beers down and very jolly!

8pm rolls around, the kids have their bath and get into their pj’s.

9pm My man is chatting and having a great time.

Time speeds up….

We head home at 1.30am!!

Most hilarious (ahem) part of it all, he asks the next morning “So what time did we get home? 9.30pm?”

Charming.

the great australian dream

When it comes to the great aussie blokes dream you can ditch your white picket fence, fancy decor, SUV or yacht for a bbq, an outdoor bar, some kind of staffy, and a decked out 4WD thats ready for the hard yakka.

When we look at potential homes to buy the first thing my bloke mentions is where he’s gonna build his bar and add-on man cave. But we’ve gotta get that bar in first and foremost.

Every time we purchase a bbq its bigger and better than the last. Takes up most of the patio at the moment.

4WD

While we drive along the highway I get told about the range in 4WD’s, which has the correct snorkel pipe, how high they need to be jacked up, and how big the fridge needs to be that takes up all the baggage space. I am assured however that baggage space is ample… on the roof.

“So…” I reply, “the fridge gets prime passage in the boot, while my undies and and other personal items fly free and are possibly blown away on the roof”

How on earth is that the best arrangement?!

“No…” he replies “your bags will be strapped down under the awning.”

Now the roof contains awning!

So… the great aussie dream for the missus? Hoping there is some cash left at the end to go shopping with.

where one bloke goes, the rest friggin follow

where one bloke goes, the rest friggin follow

There is a strong brotherhood between aussie blokes and they just seem to follow each other everywhere.

No, I don’t mean they travel in gangs. Although those do exist. Rather they just seem to have fellow blokes that just seem to stick together. One moves, the rest slowly follow.

Move cities, move states.. the ultimate beer mates don’t leave each others side for long. Loyal buddies for life.

 

They are constantly on the blower (the phone) convincing each other that the grass is greener. “Move over mate!”

Before you know it, the drinking crew have grown from a lonesome 1 to all the old favourites. Life is never boring with an aussie bloke, and they make bloody sure of it.

aussie blokes – like loyal bitza’s

Loyal Bitza - dogs

The one thing I’ll never get over with my aussie man is that when we had our loyal bitza, a male bull mastive cross staffy, during a night of drinking my bloke would piss out in the garden somewhere. Any spot would do but usually somewhere different each time. Anyway, our lovely bitza would follow moments after and piss on the same spot. The yard after all was his territory.

What I’m trying to get at is that when you’re in a relationship with an aussie bloke you’ll no doubt have a loyal partner on your hands, slightly territorial but at the end of the day, you’re still the boss!