This is what most aussie blokes do each day. Croc wrangling just comes naturally.
While most aussie blokes are pretty laid back, when it comes to crunch they are great work horses.
I don’t mean tasks they consider part of the female domain (they are quite traditional in this sense) the job has to be really blokey, like cutting up firewood wood with a massive chainsaw, or cleaning something with a powerful engine, or building something really huge. Put simply, when it comes to the real hard yakka, they put in the hours of labour to get the job done.
All they need at the end of the job is a cold beer and maybe a tasty barbeque, which they’ll happily cook of course. Don’t expect them to clean up afterwards though. Thats not blokey enough.
Strangely I’ve been blessed with a form of aussie bloke who’ll roll out the occasional cleaning spree. I sit with the kids and he whirls around the house getting chores done in an hour, that I’ve struggled to complete all week. Don’t be fooled however, this is generally before guests arrive on the weekend, and he won’t touch a single piece of clothing to be washed or folded. During his cleaning sprees piles of crap end up stuffed in cupboards and bedrooms. But hey, I’m not complaining. Well, not in this post anyway.
I’m gonna start sharing more about being the Friggin Missus on my Facebook Page. Don’t be shy, the page has got the record for the least likes ever! Woohoo… thanks Facebook.
So I’m a “SAHM” as I’m known on forums and what not, a stay at home mum. Took me a while to figure out the forum lingo.
DH – darling/dear husband! Ha.. as if… I only use this abbreviation if I’m desperate! Not even married anyway.
Anyway domestic stuff… well I’m pretty crap at it according to my bloke.
Well for starters I don’t cook. Hate it. Oh well life sucks mate, deal with it.
Oh and apparently I don’t wipe down a particular benchtop properly. The benchtop that gets covered in formula powder when I’m preparing a bottle for a screaming baby that I’m holding in the other arm. Hmmm… I think I should definitely make that benchtop a priority in future.
Anyway on hearing the dig at my lack of benchtop cleanliness I told him where he can wipe it. Wipe your piss of the friggin toilet seat you animal!
So we’ve decided to buy and renovate our home instead of paying copious amounts of money for someone else’s taste in home decor.
I have since realised however that the aussie blokes’ idea of renovating is based solely around the position of the flat screen. After a heated argument with my man, I decided that I’d have to fight for my bay windows and french doors because if I don’t my family home will turn into a man cave!
So we decided to go fishing this Easter Sunday. My idea actually. 8 months pregnant with a 2 year old. I’m living to friggin regret it!
My bloke was so excited! First we had to wait for BCF (Boating, Camping, Fishing) to open at 11am. That’s half the day gone. He has to buy a new tackle box, a knife, a fishing rod for the 2 year old (and no… not a cheap toy one, a $50 kids one, better suited to an 8 year old).
We drive 2 hours south, grab fast food on the way (from the SLOWEST fast food joint ever!), 4WD across bumpy sand (surprised the baby didn’t fall out) , climb across boulders only to battle with 2 year old for an hour with oversized rod, rocks and seaweed.
Ah friggin ell! Kill me now!
And… caught nothing.
Even feel a little sorry for me aussie man. He was so disappointed.
When it comes to the great aussie blokes dream you can ditch your white picket fence, fancy decor, SUV or yacht for a bbq, an outdoor bar, some kind of staffy, and a decked out 4WD thats ready for the hard yakka.
When we look at potential homes to buy the first thing my bloke mentions is where he’s gonna build his bar and add-on man cave. But we’ve gotta get that bar in first and foremost.
Every time we purchase a bbq its bigger and better than the last. Takes up most of the patio at the moment.
While we drive along the highway I get told about the range in 4WD’s, which has the correct snorkel pipe, how high they need to be jacked up, and how big the fridge needs to be that takes up all the baggage space. I am assured however that baggage space is ample… on the roof.
“So…” I reply, “the fridge gets prime passage in the boot, while my undies and and other personal items fly free and are possibly blown away on the roof”
How on earth is that the best arrangement?!
“No…” he replies “your bags will be strapped down under the awning.”
Now the roof contains awning!
So… the great aussie dream for the missus? Hoping there is some cash left at the end to go shopping with.
There is a strong brotherhood between aussie blokes and they just seem to follow each other everywhere.
No, I don’t mean they travel in gangs. Although those do exist. Rather they just seem to have fellow blokes that just seem to stick together. One moves, the rest slowly follow.
Move cities, move states.. the ultimate beer mates don’t leave each others side for long. Loyal buddies for life.
They are constantly on the blower (the phone) convincing each other that the grass is greener. “Move over mate!”
Before you know it, the drinking crew have grown from a lonesome 1 to all the old favourites. Life is never boring with an aussie bloke, and they make bloody sure of it.
The one thing I’ll never get over with my aussie man is that when we had our loyal bitza, a male bull mastive cross staffy, during a night of drinking my bloke would piss out in the garden somewhere. Any spot would do but usually somewhere different each time. Anyway, our lovely bitza would follow moments after and piss on the same spot. The yard after all was his territory.
What I’m trying to get at is that when you’re in a relationship with an aussie bloke you’ll no doubt have a loyal partner on your hands, slightly territorial but at the end of the day, you’re still the boss!